Thursday, October 09, 2008

A Change of Heart

Our Journey to Many Children


I am no stranger to large families. My mother is the sixth of fourteen children, my dad is the oldest of five, and I am the second of four. Even the generations before, there were many children in our family line. I grew up surrounded by lots of family and LOVED the chaos of family gatherings and reunions. My husband, however, is an only child, and so is his mother. You'd think that I was already signed up to have many children and that my husband would lean towards one or two. Well, that wasn't the case....


When Greg and I were engaged, I don't think we necessarily talked about a specific number of children, but I knew my husband was in the "I want 20 camp"......I just laughed, as in "yeah right"! Three months after we were married, we found out that we were expecting our first child. We were thrilled. Until.....I began death-like morning sickness! I was so sick for seven months. Continuous vomitting, dehydration, etc. After this, I KNEW I would not be in a hurry to do it again. Our daughter was born and we were very happy first-time parents. Yet, the memories of how sick I was haunted me. About two years later, I began feeling suspiciously sick and took a test. It was positive. Although I welcomed the "idea" of another baby, I was terrified of going through such agony again. And how would I do it now with a toddler? And to make matters worse, we were moving back to the states from England in just a few months. How am I going to handle a major move, plane rides, and a toddler?


The morning sickness intensified and I just took it one day at a time. Our little two year old spent most of her days watching children's videos and I cringed each time she said she was hungry. It was difficult to get up and prepare food. Greg was working 24 hour shifts, so when he was at work, he was gone ALL DAY!


It came time to move. I left England a month before Greg so that I could spend more time with my family before heading to our next base. I was four months pregnant, still sick, and was now going to travel back to the states with our daughter, by myself. UGH! Sixteen hours and three plane changes later, I made it home. Barely! That night, my dad offered to go get me something to eat and food actually sounded good. The next morning, I woke up and felt great! God was good and faithful and allowed morning sickness to last only four months instead of seven! Our second daughter was born and we were the honored parents of two little girls. I was content.


I think I immediately felt like two was enough for us, although I knew my husband wanted more. He never pressured or asked, but I knew his heart welcomed more children. As time went on and the girls got bigger, I began to enjoy the independence and the freedoms of having children out of baby stage. I also began planning my future which included finishing school and possibly a career in the future. I had all kinds of ambitions, goals and aspirations. And now that the girls were getting older, I could finally work toward these goals. By this time, we were moving again. Greg was getting out of the Air Force and we were moving back home. As soon as we were settled, I enrolled in school. Oddly enough, it was during this period of life that I began to question all of my reasons for only wanting two children. This was strange to me! I loved school, I loved the girls being older and I was set on being able to afford to send these girls to college. How would we afford more children? And, do I want to go through morning sickness again?

Nonetheless, my heart was being pulled in another direction. I questioned why I only wanted to have two children when I have a wonderful husband who wants more? Was God not faithful in getting me through morning sickness? Will He not provide for more children? Is pursuing a career what I really want to do? And is it God's plan for all of our children to even attend college? All these questions ate at my core until finally it was clear! God had turned my heart to welcome more children. Greg was elated!


We were living in CA at the time and getting ready to move back to Texas. We agreed that as soon as we got back to Texas we would try for another baby. The first thing we did when we arrived was shop for a hospital. Once we picked our place of birth (which didn't end up being the one we chose), and upon a friend's recommendation of a fertility book, we began charting and trying. ;-) To our amazement, two months later we were pregnant with our third child.

Yep, sick again. I survived and we welcomed our third child, a son, SIX years later! Seven months later, to our SHOCK, we were pregnant again! Fortunately, my good friend was pregnant too, so it made it a little less scary. Sick again, still nursing baby #3, survived again and welcomed our fourth child, another girl.


Okay, at this point, I'm not sure what our "plan" is now. We still hadn't come to the point of welcoming "any and all" children, but we weren't saying we were done either. So what we did was continue to chart. I would chart until I felt "ready" to be pregnant again. By now, I knew that God would get me through morning sickness, we knew He would continue to provide, and we were thankful for our four children.

Our fourth child was about 13 months old when we "put the charts away". Soon after, we were pregnant again. Yep, sick again and now living in a tiny rental home. Five kids, three very small bedrooms, no problem. Our fifth, another girl, was born and we were thrilled!


God continued to do a work in both of us concerning our view of children and what scripture says about children. Over and over, scripture calls children a blessing, a heritage! Although I think most people would have agreed that our quiver was certainly full and probably overflowing, we weren't content with that. Don't get me wrong, we were content with our five children, just not content with deciding five was "it".

During this time, I was at a HOPE meeting (our home school group), when a dear friend , the wonderful woman who leads our studies, shared with us her journey to having nine children. As a matter of fact, it looked (the age gap) and sounded a lot like ours. She shared of how Hannah, the mother of Samuel, prayed fervently for a child. She went on to say that she realized there were ONLY examples of women in the Bible praying FOR children! There is not one example that God gives us of a woman (or man) praying NOT to have children. Yet, we see in the Bible that there were many varied sizes of families! And being that we know modern birth control did not exist (although we know the story of Onan "spilling his seed", and God was not pleased), we can assume that God was in control of family sizes! This, in conjunction with God's Word referring to children as blessings, arrows and a heritage, was HUGE for me. God used my sweet friend's own story to continue writing ours! Thankfully, my husband shared the same conviction and we went on to have two more children. No charting, no worrying, just freedom. You see, for us it really is freedom. Since we welcome any child God is willing to entrust us with, there are no worries about getting pregnant. We just enjoy our love for one another and welcome "the fruits of our passion", as my husband so sweetly puts it! ;-)


We don't know what the future holds, but we do know we built our six bedroom home with the hopes of filling every bedroom with children. Yeah, I know, crazy huh? Definitely God! I thank Him almost daily for changing my heart, for my husband's loving patience, for friends who share a similar conviction, and for seven beautiful blessings.

If you know me, you know that I am NO supermom. I struggle daily just like every other mom does. I have days when I want to string these little blessings up by their toes or run away to a tropical island. But this I know......God is faithful, God has provided for our every need and then some, God has helped me not to fear morning sickness....too much, and God has freed me from the worldview ideals I held all those years ago. We couldn't be happier. There's nothing I'd rather be doing than raising and growing our heritage.


So, to end this story, I would like to happily announce the blessing of our eighth child......to arrive in June!

 Also, congratulations to Tiffany, Shannon, Janelle, Blair, and Stephanie G. who are also expecting in June! And to Stephanie C. who is due in May! Soli Deo Gloria!

UPDATE:  On April 20, 2015, we welcomed our 11th child....another precious girl.  We now have 8 girls and 3 boys.  I am 42 years old, so we'll see what God has in store for the future.  :)

24 comments:

  1. OH WOW!!! I was happily reading your story, being blessed by every bit of it - and then all the sudden you hit me with that bombshell!!!! :D

    CONGRATULATIONS!! I am so excited to be sharing due months with you. YEEAAA!! What a blessing! You guys are incredible, and I love your family to pieces!

    Thank you so much for your beautiful story. It speaks volumes to my heart right now, and lifts me up in a way you just can't imagine. I'll be right here with you, going through all the horrible morning sickness too! ;o)

    Much, much love,
    Janelle

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  2. PS - Yea for being the first person to congratulate you! :)

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  3. I am almost in tears...
    I thought it was you Candace. I read Granny;s Blog, but then saw Chey's response and thought nope not Candace then. May the Lord Bless you and keep you as sick free as possible.

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  4. What a great story! And congrats to all of you! Happy and Healthy 9 months!

    Love,
    Paige

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  5. lovely, just lovely. He is Faithful always!

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  6. What a true blessing! Isn't it amazing what God does in our hearts when we just listen to Him. Congratulations on the new baby and may the Lord bless you with few days of sickness!

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  7. Hi, I found your blog through a friend. I just wanted to say Congratulations! It's amazing how the Lord blesses those who fully rely on Him.

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  8. I loved reading the story, even though I already knew the story, I was intrigued to keep reading...WOW..I am glad I did!!! Congrats!!!!!!!! A baby in June...HOW EXCITING!!! Now remember when Ethan was due, I asked you to stand on your head to hold the baby in so that we could share a birthday..since that did not work out, could you try to make this blessing share my birthday??? LOL Love to you all!!!!

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  9. Adrienne1:15 AM

    That was a beautiful story and testimony! As I was reading your story I was holding Evan and thinking if the Lord had not changed my own heart that none of my babies would be here. I also remember talking to you years ago about this same topic, the Lord is wonderful in providing good friends to spread His message.

    Congrats on #8!!!

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  10. Congrats, Sabo's! God is sooo good! You guys are going to have to get a bigger vehicle like the Russell's have! ;-) We will add you all to our prayer list!

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  11. I was thinking the same thing as Ryan! Time for a supersized van!

    I think you can also take the "quasi" off the title of your blog. ;-)

    Congrats, again!

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  12. When is it time to move up to a suburban? We have 5 kids now and my van is shrinking : (

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  13. CONGRATULATIONS, sweet Mama and family! We are so excited for you. Praying for a miraculously nausea-free 8 months...

    Oh, and I was going to say the same thing as Tami--I vote that you should now consider yourself a full-blown large family! :)

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  14. Tami and Step G.,

    You both cracked me up with the "dropping the quasi" comments. I've often thought about at which point I should drop it. "Large" is so relative to different people, and since I know many more families with more children than we, I've left it there. But, I think with eight now coming, I'll drop the "quasi"!

    And Jeanie,

    You want OUR Suburban??? Hehe!

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  15. Candace,
    Email me the details on it : )
    year mileage : )

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  16. Thanks for sharing your journey!
    Congratulations on your newest blessing. Praying for God's grace and strength as you continue to serve Him.

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  17. Yea!!! More babies to love!

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  18. What a beautiful story. Thank you for sharing it. I happen to be right where you were after your first 2 and have been struggling with fear of becoming pregnant again(actually fear of what I have to go through being pregnant yet wanting more children). This is a strange place to be after having 6 years between our boys and girls and 4.5 of that going through fertility issues.

    After Jules I felt that whatever was just fine cause God is always in control and we have little to say about family size, and now I am struggling. How strange and sad. Anyway, your story blessed me thanks again for sharing.

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  19. Thank you for sharing!
    T and I were just talking about how no one in the bible ever prayed for "no" children or to "stop" having children. And the FIRST commandment in the bible is be "be fruitful and multiply" (Gen 1:28).
    And T has also mentioned that with more children come more blessings: I can survive on less sleep than I ever have before; his boss seems much more understanding to him than to his unmarried coworker; money seems to stretch further... Supernatural evidence that Jehovah loves our obedience!

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  20. how dare you annouce having another baby at the end of your story. you know my attention span isn't that long. :) i'm glad i read all of it. what a great ending! too cool. congratulations! do i still have a room for when i visit? p.s. stop it with the awesome cake making. you make us look bad when we buy one at the store. haha love, uncle gary

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  21. Did I read that right??? Hooray for you!!!

    As for your testimony, thanks for sharing. I wish I were able to put it so eloquently as many others do. I'm glad to have *found* you and consider you a friend, tho we may never meet.

    Planning on another homebirth?? Can't wait for mine in January :) Third at home, 6th addition. :)

    ~k

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  22. I can't miss a few weeks off of blogging. When I do something amazing is posted. Congrats on number 8. I praise God that he has blessed you with such an amazing family.

    It's under 90 days until I see you again!

    Love,
    Woman

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